February 09, 2006
Not That It's Shaggy
My older brother doesn't forward me jokes I first heard in the schoolyard, or links to flash pages with no explanation, but I still dread emails inspired by his sense of humor. A pun, let alone several related ones, is not something to visibly strive for. This time, however, he sent me an elegant dog story.
In a small country pub, all the patrons became quite used to the pub owner's little dog being around the bar, so they were quite upset when one day the little dog died.
Everyone met to decide how they could remember the little dog. The decision was to cut off his tail and stick it up behind the bar to remind everyone of the little dog's wagging tail.
The little dog went up to heaven and was about to run through the Pearly Gates when he was stopped by Saint Peter, who questioned the little dog as to where he was going.
The little dog said "I have been a good dog, so I am going into heaven where I belong!"
Saint Peter replied "You can not come into heaven without a tail. Where is your tail"?
The little dog explained what had happened back on Earth. Saint Peter told the little dog to go back down to Earth and retrieve his tail. The little dog protested that it was now the middle of the night back at the pub, but Saint Peter would not change his mind.
So the little dog went back down to Earth and scratched on the door of the pub until the bartender who lived upstairs came down and opened the door.
"My goodness, it is the spirit of the little dog. What can I do for you"? said the bartender. The little dog explained that he wasn't allowed into heaven without his tail, and he needed it back.
The bartender replied "I would really like to help you, but my liquor license doesn't allow me to...retail spirits after hours!"